Dr. Mitchell is co-author of Fat is Not Your Fate, Eat to Stay Young and I’d Kill for a Cookie.

Listen to her weekly Internet Show on AM580 WDBO http://580wdbo.com/healthcenter/

Visit her websites: http://www.susanmitchell.org and http://www.fatisnotyourfate.com

When you read ‘Vitamin D’, you probably think “oh yeah….that’s the healthy bone vitamin and the one you can make from sitting in the sun.” That is true, but there’s more to this nutrient than we thought. Studies suggest that the blood levels of vitamin D in our bodies are much lower than they should be. There are a couple of reasons for this low blood level. Our diets are low in Vitamin D and our bodies are not making enough from the sun’s rays. It’s starting to get hot again and most of us prefer the cool air conditioning to the hot sun. When we do head outside, we’re covered in sunscreen, which cuts down on vitamin D production. Normally, here is what should happen. When you’re outside, the sun’s ultraviolet B rays penetrate into your skin’s outer layer and produce what’s called a vitamin D precursor. The liver and kidneys then process this precursor and convert it into the usable form in your body called vitamin D3.

Did you know that every year, particularly during the winter, about one third of women over 65 fall and six percent suffer a fracture? Most people experience a seasonal drop during the winter months in their body’s blood vitamin D level. A study in the Archives of Internal Medicine suggests that vitamin D does more than just strengthen bones, it also strengthens muscles. By taking a vitamin D supplement as prevention, older people may fall less and experience fewer fractures. How great is this? Think about people you know who have fallen, broken a hip and never recovered, perhaps died. Another study from the Archives of Internal Medicine found that taking a daily vitamin D supplement reduced the risk of overall mortality or dying by seven percent. The researchers aren’t sure as to the mechanism that brings about this reduction in death but suggest that the vitamin works by strengthening bones, boosting the immune system, and reducing the severity of type2 diabetes.

Today I’ll add five more tips on astrology and career: 5 More Things to Know About Choosing the ‘Right’ Career. But first, for those who are interested, here’s a link to a CNN/Money article that explains a little bit about rising food prices and Saturn in Virgo. It doesn’t mention astrology; it’s a practical article about food price cycles. But it tallies with the 2 to 2 1/2 year Saturn transit and points out that we had a similar food price cycle around thirty years ago (the approximate length of a full Saturn cycle). All righty, now on to jobs and careers, continued from last week!

One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you maybe fall in love again.
 –Judith Viorst

Commitment means a sense of devotion.  It means we hang in there even when the going gets rough. My mother once told me that love is the ability to stay and weather through whatever life hands to you. As you weather through it together you learn the true meaning of love.  Love is not the infatuation of a new relationship.  Love comes through the trials and tribulations of life.
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Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com

     The male mid-life is often talked about in general or humorous terms, but rarely is it discussed seriously. I believe that just as all males and females go through puberty, so too do all males and females go through the change of life. Evidence continues to mount that Andropause or Male Menopause is real and has a profound effect on men and the women who love them.

In last week’s posting, I discussed the often thorny situation between a couple and the extended family.  So often the subject of comedic movies and stand-up comedy routines, the relationship with in-laws can, in fact, be quite difficult. 

But just as I have learned in my 25 years of private practice that there are two sides to every couple story, there is also the two perspectives of the in-law story.  Being an in-law, myself, I am very sensitive to this matter.  So, in today’s blog, I want to offer some compassion and tips to the other side.

Some of the problems

Let’s start off with the obvious.  You have raised your son or daughter and now you must let him or her go to someone else who now has become a priority.  For most people, that’s plain out difficult.  And, speaking stereotypically, it’s even more so if you’ve raised a son.  Generally, a couple will stay closer to the woman’s family.  So letting go and being placed lower on the totem pole just doesn’t feel real good. 

A couple certainly has to adjust to one another as far as the differences in the way they were raised, in their individual needs, and in their lifestyles.  But as the in-law, you will have to make adjustments too!  And it is these changes and how you handle them that will determine how your relationship with your offspring and their mate will fare.

First, there are the various holiday celebrations.  Very likely, you will have to share the couple with the other set of in-laws.  So, now it’s a matter of how that time splitting gets done.  Can the two families celebrate together so the couple doesn’t have to make a choice?  Do you live close enough so that the couple can do dinner with one family but stop in on the other for dessert?  Are the holidays alternated between the two families?  Though there are different possibilities, what is certain is that it’s not going to be the same as it used to be.

Of course, though your offspring has decided that his or her mate is the person they are very much in love with, you may not necessarily be “in love” with the other person’s family.  Yet, you will, occasionally, be spending time together.  And for the sake of common courtesy as well as your child, you must be appropriately polite.

Appropriate behavior must also be extended to your child’s partner.  This is a tough one.  In fact, there may be lots of things he or she says or does that make you uncomfortable.  Though you have welcomed this person into your family, you can’t really treat him or her as you would a biological member of your family.  There are boundaries and you cannot take the same liberties.

If you have something that really upsets you, then you need to speak to your child.  Remember the rule: blood speaks to blood.  But this gets a bit sticky because you don’t want to create friction between your child and his or her mate.  Remember, as the parent, you still have a lot of impact on your child.  Though it may not be obvious, what you say will really have an effect on how he or she feels about their partner.

Your actions must fall into line with your verbal behavior.  That is to say, you have to be more formal.  Unless the couple has given you permission to do so, it’s wise to call before you drop in, not necessarily call too early or late, and become aware of the way they do things in their household and follow suit.

Also know that if your children decide to have children of their own, this matter gets even more complicated.  I’ve found that it’s important to follow their lead regardless of the fact that you succeeded in raising them to adulthood.

The solution

Does all this seem difficult?  It is.  I remember years ago, my supervisor telling me that the way she practiced being a good in-law was to keep her mouth closed and her purse open.  Maybe that’s a bit drastic but it does capture the essence.  To be a good in-law, I think, you need to respect your child as an adult and let go of the old role of parental guidance — unless you’re asked.

I said I was presenting this issue from the perspective of the in-law and it may seem that all I’ve done is admonish about what not to do.  I know this is a hard role to play.  There are no “rule” books on the subject.  But you always want to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to enjoy the relationship with your adult child.  If you bear that thought in mind, it will be a big help in knowing how to proceed.

Dr. Mitchell is co-author of Fat is Not Your Fate, Eat to Stay Young and I’d Kill for a Cookie.

Listen to her weekly Internet Show on AM580 WDBO http://580wdbo.com/healthcenter/

Visit her websites: http://www.susanmitchell.org and http://www.fatisnotyourfate.com

Would you like to know how many calories per day you should eat? Maybe you’re interested in how many total fat grams you should consume or even more specifically, how much saturated fat…besides the words ‘eat less’. I have a terrific website to tell you about. Check it out: myfatstranslator.com. This site is from the American Heart Association and it is very user friendly. Quickly and easily you put in your age, gender, height, weight and activity level. There are drop down boxes that make this fast and painless with guidance on how to select your activity level. Click on submit and seconds later you will see the total number of calories you should consume daily along with the amount of fat grams and saturated fat grams.

Plus, there’s another bonus on the page. You’ll find great suggestions for real world substitutions….what I call instead of that, try this. For example, instead of grilling eight ounces of baby back pork ribs weighing in at 56 grams of fat and 734 calories, you can grill 7 ounces of salmon for 240 calories and 9 grams of fat. There are suggestions for entrees, side dishes, salads and desserts with easy to read nutrition information. The work has all been done for you. It’s a simple way to become aware of how much fat comprises items you may not have thought about. Potato salad made with mayo, about ½ cup, has nine grams of fat as compared to ½ cup of baked beans at only 1 gram of fat. Who knew? Granted, this could vary depending on how you make recipes but this is a good generalization. There are suggestions for fast food, Tex-Mex, and breakfast too. You’ve got to check it out.

Dr. Susan

Through one of those seeming synchronicity things, I’m encountering a fair number of people these days who are trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up. This is one of those common life dilemmas, and it doesn’t matter if you’re 56, or 63 and retired, or much, much younger. The question is coming up enough that I’m starting to offer a special kind of consultation for career issues (http://practicalastrology.prettyfedup.com/career.htm). In the meantime, though, I thought I’d share a few observations on astrology and career choice based on my observation. Below is Part I, 5 Things to Know About Choosing the ‘Right’ Career.

The greatest and most important problems in life are all in a certain sense insolvable. They can never be solved but only outgrown. – Carl Jung

Most of our problems in life are insolvable. To master our problems we need to resolve to simply transcend our problems and issues and simply let go. It is about detaching from the fear of losing control. We all want to control the outcome of life. But life is uncertain and it is the ability to live peacefully within the uncertainly of life that creates a state of peace and serenity. It is the path of yoga. (more…)

Author of The Secret Wisdom of a Woman’s Body
Visit me at www.patsamples.com

Last Saturday I couldn’t talk. I opened my mouth and sometimes the words wouldn’t take form. At other times what came out of my mouth was not what my mind set out to convey. It was a jarring experience, not having any control over my speech. I tried to call for help, but I couldn’t use the phone. I just looked at the handset and couldn’t get my fingers to punch the numbers. I couldn’t even remember anyone’s number to call. And I was drooling.
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Come visit me at www.MenAlive.com.

     You can’t listen or watch anything these days without being bombarded with Reverend Wright and the effect he is having on the Presidential aspirations of Barack Obama. With so many important issues that should be discussed during this election campaign—global warming, ending the war in Iraq, saving our failing economic system, universal health care, to name only a few—I’m wondering what has gotten America so fired up about a 66 year-old retired pastor and a 47 year-old mid-life man seeking the highest office in the land.